by Knifeplay

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price




released March 13, 2019

all songs written by Tj Strohmer

produced and recorded by Cameron Konner and Tj Strohmer

Patrick McBride - lead guitar on Tears, Suffer, Specula, Held My Hand, and Lemonhead
Alex Stackhouse - bass on Tears, Suffer, Lover, Specula, and Held My Hand
Alex Ha - drums on all except Mirage
Chris Norcross - keyboard on Tears
Tommy Fala - keyboard/piano on Angel and Lemonhead
Cameron Konner - auxiliary percussion, and a few other things

mastered by Jeremy Kinney

cover art by Tj Strohmer


all rights reserved



Knifeplay Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

all inquiry:

contact / help

Contact Knifeplay

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: Tears
break up the pill
united in illness
we can be still
cause everythings gonna be different now

i will carry your tears around
and drink until im pure
anything to calm me down
when the curses are the cures

touching our blood
i forgot who i was then
death made us numb
but everythings gonna be different now
Track Name: Suffer
waking up alone in a coughing fit
pulling on the flesh that you let slip
away into the past ten years
away into a life that you still fear
you just suffer
you just suffer here

wanna know why i try to hide?
because everything thats good makes me
scared to be alive

its ok to become what you hate
you just suffer if you think it matters anyway

hair gets grey while a tv drones
the basement is the teenage needle home
to all the things you never did
to all your work
but whats to show for it?
Track Name: Feel U
you could not have known what to do
but to go to that quiet place
where you know no one can hear you
and watch smoke float in the air
and learn to love what disappears

you made my bed
and you took the gift i left
i feel you right here
but ill never see you again
Track Name: Lover
honey and i are in love
he taught me to play through the pain
we met when we were growing up
and making mistakes

he smiles so nice
he gets drunk at night
honey comes home his fist is closed
he does whatever he likes

the more you chase me the more im gonna run
and when you hit me ill just do what youve done
you feel power playing this game
but youre just people
were always the same

no one can save him
he’s so sweet when he lies
he says
“deaths the cure for emptiness,
and nothing is the light”
Track Name: Specula
pain always rushes back
like a child to mothers arms
like the urge to go to sleep
like a spoiled begging dog

i walk the same way at the same time everyday
and i light a cigarette to keep me safe
i think of you with hoop earrings and beautiful braids
and i run towards something i can flee from

i walk the same way at the same time everyday
and i watch die what gave me life
the specula that holds my eyes
and its slowly closing all the time

misery drones on inside
endless like a babys cry
Track Name: Held My Hand
its such a still night tonight
i can kinda see your picture
where the blinds let in the streetlight
no one makes a sound
but an echo in my head is ringing
constant and loud

in that house, in that house
you held my hand when i allowed
i held you down
i was so proud
but im not now

its such a still night tonight
i have gently pushed away
everyone that gave me life
Track Name: Angel
take him out back
put him down slow
momma does the rosary
little brother digs the hole

papa is a preacher
he wont hold a gun
so the family called me over
i guess i was the closest one

zip ties on his wrists and ankles
whiskey on his breath
finally he'll bleed the anger
and sadness that hes kept

he was already dyin
from things you cant outrun
so the family called me over
to kill their wasted son
Track Name: Lemonhead
do you remember?
we were driving in the car again
biting on the lemonheads
i was listening to what you said
i said “so much for my mother”
you said “i could be your daughter”
i said
“do you have something that i can swallow?”
“take my soul
but just to borrow”
its a ritual that bleeds us both
just like that again we’re cold

and you wrote a song again
i made it about me again
you were talking about staring
you were talking about static
i said “i don’t know why i bother”
you said “you don’t even bother”
i said
am i “you”?
i must get off on spilling blood
and am i “you”?
just let the laughter break it up
its a ritual that bleeds us both
just like that again we're cold

If you like Knifeplay, you may also like: